White House says alien guards 'sacked'

Conspiracy theorists have had a field day with footage of an odd looking bodyguard seen with President Obama, suggesting the guard is an alien shape shifter.

ARE shape-shifting aliens protecting the President of the United States? Not any more - they've been sacked due to budget cutbacks.

A viral video doing the rounds on YouTube claims to have captured footage of an "alien shape-shifter" among President Obama's security team at a March 4 public function.

The narrator points out that the picture is distant and distorted by pixilation and data-compression effects - but then ignores his own advice and concocts a comprehensive conspiracy theory around it.

The obvious security guard - tall, bald and alert - scans the crowd for any visible threat.

Standing in a bright spotlight in a darkened room, his pixelated face looks remarkably featureless and malformed.

A correspondent for Wired magazine decided to take the issue direct to the White House.

A screen capture from a video purporting to have captured images of a "shape-shifting alien" bodyguard at a recent function attended by President Obama.

When the question was posed to National Security Council chief spokeswoman Caitlin Hayden, her reply was unexpected:

"I can't confirm the claims made in this video, but any alleged program to guard the president with aliens or robots would likely have to be scaled back or eliminated in the sequester," Caitlin Hayden quipped.

"I'd refer you to the Secret Service or Area 51 for more details."

There you have it.

No direct denial that alien shape-shifting humanoids are part of the Presidential team...

A screen capture of the purported "shape-shifting alien" bodyguard at a recent function attended by President Obama.

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Shark-wrestle hero sacked for 'skiving'

This man spotted a shark swimming near a group of toddlers and bravely jumped in to fend off the creature. Courtesy Channel 9

A BRITISH holidaymaker who wrestled a shark away from a group of toddlers at a Queensland beach has been sacked after returning home because he was meant to be on sick leave.

Paul Marshallsea, 62, was praised by the lifeguards after he rushed from a beach-side barbecue to keep the children safe.

The encounter was caught on camera by a nearby Channel 9 television crew.

The footage showed Mr Marshallsea grabbing the shark by the tail and dragging it away from the beach.

The grandfather said: “Where this shark actually came ashore, it’s shallow for about five or six yards, and a lot of babies and toddlers splash about there. It could have been very nasty"

But after returning from two months Down Under, Paul and his wife Wendy have been sacked by the charity they both worked for because they were off work for stress, The Daily Mail reports.

Mr Marshallsea is now facing life on the dole in one of Britain's worst unemployment blackspots in Merthyr Tydfil in  South Wales.

Paul Marshallsea grabs the shark by the tail and drags it away from children playing at the beach. Picture: Channel 9.

"What am I going to do now? There’s not much call for shark-wrestlers in Merthyr Tydfil," he said.

The couple had headed to Australia for a 'get away from it all' sunshine break.

But charity trustees decided Mr Marshallsea was skiving after seeing footage of him wrestling with the shark.

Read more at The Daily Mail
 

Paul Marshallsea shown grabbing onto the Bronze Whaler's tail. Picture: Channel 9

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